The
harbingers of the holiday season are evident: Twinkling
lights at the mall, holiday music on the radio,
a chill in the air…and your stylist has adjusted
your highlights-to-lowlights ratio for the winter
(you have to give us that last one!) But really,
what signifies the beginning of the holiday season
for your family? Does the season descend upon you,
or do you embrace it? How important are family
traditions? We parents are so busy - especially
during the holidays – can’t we just
let the “traditions thing” slide this
year? Wait…is that what you said last year?
To learn more about the importance of holiday
traditions, Coast Kids decided to go to the
source of the magic – kids! – to
find out what they like best about the holidays.
Their answers underscore the importance of
family traditions in keeping the spirit of
the season alive – and we’ll give
you tips on how to do just that…so read
on!
What Would the Grinch Take?
We asked local children to tell us their favorite
thing about the holidays. As you’ll see,
family traditions are instrumental in bringing
the magic to the season. Looks like the Grinch
would have to steal more than presents to rob
OC kids of their holiday spirit!
“ I
can’t wait for gingerbread cookies and
hot cocoa, we have it every year.”
“ I know the holidays are coming when
we get our picture for the Christmas cards.
Mom lets me choose the best one!”
“ Our family goes to Palm Desert every
Christmas – and we all play golf together.
I love to golf now.”
“ We always invite my babysitter over to decorate
cookies, because she makes the best frosting!”
“ I just like the feeling of the holidays.
Everyone is happy.”
“ It wouldn’t be the holidays without all
the decorations. I love to help decorate
our house, and the tree!”
“ Our cousins come over and we decorate
gingerbread houses that our mom bakes.
We try to make them better each year.” |
The Benefits of Tradition
The importance of tradition and customs has
been recognized for centuries. They communicate
our culture and beliefs. They enrich family
life. Tradition is evident in most religions,
and can strengthen and deepen ones experience.
Traditions can strengthen family bonds as well,
and provide psychological benefits to our children:
•
Feeling of security – Traditions, customs
and rituals give predictability to a world
which may feel unpredictable to children.
Older children feel secure in knowing their
role
in the family, and can initiate some traditions
themselves.
•
Sense of belonging – Knowing they play
an essential role in a family tradition gives
our children a sense of belonging. Maybe
the high school child becomes responsible
for purchasing
a pie each Thanksgiving, or the younger child
creates placards for the Thanksgiving dinner
table each year.
•
Positive memories – Whether silly or
more meaningful, traditions create emotional
memories and affect our children’s personalities.
According to cognitive neuroscience researcher,
Larry Cahill, Ph.D., of UCI, “Emotional
memories disproportionately shape who you are.” Recall
your favorite memories as a child – it’s
likely that they are either happy or sad,
because memories tied to an emotion are everlasting.
•
Sense of history – Even if preceding
generations can’t be with you, teaching
your children the origin of a family tradition
gives them a sense of history.
Children and families can benefit from long-lasting
traditions and customs, but keep in mind that
as our children mature, some creative modification
may be needed to keep them engaged. (Jimmy
may not want to wear the hand-knit Christmas
sweaters from dear Aunt Hilda anymore!) Traditions
can be easy rituals that enrich our daily lives
through joy and laughter, or more significant
customs that reinforce family values and beliefs.
Either way, they can instill fond, emotional
memories for us all.
Holiday Traditions Don’t
Have to Be Grand
Some children’s favorite holiday traditions
involve helping with the decorations, while
others look forward to baking sugary treats.
Some cherish family gatherings, or church when
it sparkles with candles. Holiday traditions
can be simple and meaningful with a little
thought: Reminisce with your children while
unpacking ornaments collected on family trips;
share stories of the “old days” while
decorating cookies with Grandma; or express
gratitude amongst your family while shopping
for a needy, or “adopted family.” (See
sidebar for list of charities with adopt-a-family
programs.) Or, experiment with some holiday
traditions shared with us by local parents.
A Sampling of Holiday Traditions
from OC Families
• Use holiday cards from previous years to make
homemade cards. Deliver to nursing homes
or Meals-on-Wheels.
• Extend your goodwill to neighbors and distant
friends: Kick off your holiday season with
an annual tea or brunch.
• Adopt-a-family and include kids in the shopping,
wrapping and delivering (see box for local
charities).
•
Dust the fireplace hearth with flour so your
children can see Santa’s footprints.
Don’t forget to leave a carrot or some
reindeer food in the yard.
• Have everyone in the family don new pajamas
for the first night of Hanukkah or on Christmas
Eve.
• Host a holiday cookie decorating party for
kids and parents.
•
Watch every holiday movie possible from A Charlie
Brown Christmas to classics like It’s
a Wonderful Life, November through December.
• Attend a Christmas tree or Menorah lighting
ceremony.
• Visit Santa annually, and take a family photo
with him.
•
Google “traditions” related to
your family’s heritage, and share your
new one with the cousins, grandparents, etc.
Give the Gift That Keeps
on Giving
This holiday season, create some new traditions
for your family, and hold tight to the existing
ones your kids love, especially those that
celebrate your family heritage and reinforce
your values and/or religious beliefs. Put
some conscious effort and creativity into
them as
your children mature, so they don’t
fade away like letters drawn in the sandy
shore.
Remember, traditions are a simple gift to
your family, and can keep giving for generations
to come.
Books on Traditions
52 Traditions for Family and Friends
by Lynn Gordon
The Mini Book of New Family Traditions
by Meg Cox and Sarah McMenemy
Everyday Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals
for Holidays and Everyday
by Nava Atlas
The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen
Family Ties
by William Doherty
Building Catholic Family Traditions [and many other
ideas]
by Paul & Leisa Thigpen
Local Charities with Toy Drives and Adopt-a-Family
Programs
– Serving People in Need (S.P.I.N.)
spinoc.org
– Share Our Selves (SOS)
shareourselves.org
– Casa Teresa
casateresa.com
– Olive Crest
olivecrest.org
– Orangewood
orangewoodfoundation.org
– Court Appointed Special Advocates
casaoc.org
